Monday, August 22, 2005

In the beginning God ...... (or who created HMO?)

In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated
the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and
red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and
healthy lives.

Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Baskin Robbins Ice Cream
and Dunkin' Donuts.And Satan said, 'You want chocolate with that'?

And Man said, 'Yes! Then Woman said, 'And as long as you're at it, add
some sprinkles'. And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.

Then God created healthful kefir so Woman might keep the figure that
Man found so fair.

And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from
sugar cane and invented pastries. And Woman went from size 6 to size 14.

So God said,'Try my fresh green salad.

And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and
garlic toast on the side.And Man and Woman unfastened their belts
following the repast.

God then said, 'I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil
in which to cook them.'

And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big
it needed its own platter. And Man gained more weight and his
cholesterol went through the roof.

God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it 'Angel Fruit
Cake', and said, 'It is good'.

Satan then created chocolate cake and named it 'Devil's Food'.

God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose
those extra pounds.

And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to
toil changing the channels.And Man and Woman laughed and cried before
the flickering blue light and gained pounds.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming
with nutrition.

And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center
into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds.

God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and
still satisfy his appetite.

And Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent double cheeseburger.Then
asked,'You want french fries with that'? And Man replied, "Yes
please'! 'And super size them'!"

And Satan said,'It is good'. And Man went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

Then Satan created HMOs.

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