Monday, August 22, 2005

More cool definitions

1. Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper
with fire at one end & a fool at the other.

2. Love affairs : Something like cricket where
one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.

3. Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man
loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master

4. Divorce : Future tense of marriage

5. Lecture : An art of transferring information
from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of
the students without passing through "the minds of either".

6. Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied
by the number present.

7. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such
a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

8. Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine
will-power is defeated by feminine water-power ..

9. Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage.

10. Conference Room : A place where everybody talks,
nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.

11. Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going
to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

12. Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.

13. Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

14. Office : A place where you can relax after
your strenuous home life.

15. Yawn : The only time some married men ever
get to open their mouth.

16. Etc. : A sign to make others believe that
you know more than you actually do.

17. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing
individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

18. Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.

19. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

20. Philosopher : A fool who torments himself
during life, to be spoken of when dead.

21. Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to
hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

22. Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath
if he accidentally falls into a river.

23. Optimist : A person who while falling from
Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."

24. Pessimist :- A person who says that O is the
last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.

25. Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

26. Father : A banker provided by nature.

27. Criminal : A guy no different from the rest... except
that he got caught.

28. Boss : Someone who is early when you are late
and late when you are early.

29. Politician : One who shakes your hand before
elections and your Confidence after.

30. Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills,
and kills you with his bills.

31. Computer Engineer : One who gets paid for
reading such mails......!

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